Choosing a Road

May 6th, 2013

Life certainly is interesting. There are so many roads to choose from. It’s the choice of which road that I am fascinated with. Why do we choose that road? What factors into the decision?

Sticking with the analogy… it is the view? perhaps its the items around the path? It is the thing we think we see at the end of that particular road? Perhaps it’s how hungry or thirsty we are that is a factor.

What i do know is that I feel I keep choosing wrong roads. This past road was a huge circle taking me right back to the same place i was in life except the place I was now feels and looks worse.

I am not prepared because of my choices over these years. It breaks my heart. I’ve allowed myself to be distracted. I’ve made choices based on what I thought I saw and not what was real. I lost my way because I changed paths too many times. I feel lost and so far away from the goal that I had and do not know how to get back to the beginning because I didn’t draw a map of where i was going.

This realization is so hard, it’s depressing. I know what people will say, “just take a look around, figure out where you are and go from there”. It’s a lovely sentiment and of course that’s what i am going to do but it feels bad.

 

I wanted to say “Thank you”

February 12th, 2013

When I had the surgery I came to every group. I participated, learned and even volunteered at Kaiser after my surgery. Then life got in the way. At first they were good reasons, too busy with life to come back (job change, volunteering commitments, etc).

I quit coming to the meeting for ‘good reasons’ but things quickly started to unwind. I needed to come back but i was already heading down a very slippery slope and didn’t feel that I had a hand to grab onto… I was wrong.

After years of depression and separation from the very people that could help me a friend reached out her hand and said “grab on” and in a weakened moment (cause i am sooo damned stubborn) i did. And Thursday night i found myself back at the support group, babbling like an idiot about how hard life was. That i hated to be the “Debbie Downer” and continued to cry for an hour.

What was surprising (although it shouldn’t have been) was the kindness that I was shown in that room. I wasn’t judged, I wasn’t chastised, i wasn’t sent away feeling bad and more importantly I was empowered to make changes.

For any of you that have “been there done that” and feel like yours’ is a lost cause and that no one could possibly understand to help you… you are wrong… you are not alone.

THANK YOU to those of you in that room last Thursday, for your time, your kind words and your hugs. Thank you Juliette for being there… still after all these years :) and welcoming me with open arms and mostly I thank Pam… for reaching out, offering her hand to me and being patient and strong enough to let me take my time to grab hold to it.

Hugs, Kary

Request for bypass to doctor: October 23, 2007
Orientation: December 16, 2007 (400 lbs)
1st Meeting with Doctor Hahn: February 23, 2008 (353 lbs)
Operation Date: August 18, 2008 (339 lbs)
2 week Post-Op Appointment – September 3, 2008 (319.5)
6 week Post-Op Appointment – October 9, 2008 (308 lbs)
Broke through 300! – October 31, 2008
6 Month Appointment – March 12, 2009 (240 lbs)
1 Year Appointment – August 25, 2009 (235 lbs)
Lowest weigh in – October 18, 2009 (225 lbs)
2 years Post-Op, August 18, 2010 – (232) Down 168 pounds total
3 years Post-Op, August 19, 2011 – (264) Down 136 pounds total
4 years Post-Op, August 19, 2012 – (265.5) Down 134.5 pounds total

2013…. The Year of Paying It Forward

January 21st, 2013

Last year at the start if 2012 the rave was all about a “365 day photo album” and of course I sucked right into it because of how I feel about photos and photo albums.  I believe I made it to day 17 or so and that’s about it.

2013 Facebook rave is…

2013 is the Year of Paying It Forward. For those of you that leave a comment… you will get a small surprise sometime in 2013 from me… for those of you that Pay It Forward also, you will get a treat from me AND many blessing from sharing in this amazing movement! xoxo
  •  Araceli , Edwin  Mark and Bonnie, Meagan, Mary like this.
  • Byron  Happy Prosperous and healthy New Year!
  • Amy  Thank you for starting the pay it forward movement! This year my kids and I want to make sure we are more involved in helping others. I don’t mean donating food etc., rather looking around and doing good deeds or simple things that make a difference to others. Open a door, cook for someone, watch their kids, etc. I don’t help out enough and I want to make sure I make time to do so!!

That’s it… that’s all I have to do… send two people a little something and the world will be a better place… maybe… couldn’t hurt!!

It’s easy to share when things are good, harder when they aren’t…

January 19th, 2013

It’s been more than a year since I posted. Most of each day has been difficult and i find it’s very difficult to share negativity OR pretend that things are good… soo i’ve learned to just shut down.

Weight update… ((getting up from the chair to actually weigh myself)) 265.5. Okay… not great but not bad either! I was 400 lbs, surgery at 373, bottomed out at 225… have gained 40.5 lbs back in about 4 years.

The depression takes it’s toll on me, I am drinking, smoking and not going to any support groups. Over the past two years I have worked up to three jobs at the same time to make ends meet. In the past 6 months I ended my marriage of 6 years, my job of 12 years and moved out of my apartment of 12 years.

I got a new job working full time at a homeless shelter. I have medical insurance but live paycheck to paycheck and cannot pay the co-payments to make it to the doctor when needed. I enjoy the job, it’s VERY physical! It is an extreme multitask job and it feels good getting out of the house.

Okay… the good stuff. I choose protein first when i eat. I do take my vitamins. Since I have been more active (job and dog walks) I am in less pain. My periods are regular (i know but that was a huge issue at 400 lbs). I have only gained 40 lbs back since i hit bottom and that is great!

I am back down to one job but having a hard time making financial ends meet. I get down, but get up because it’s important. I am not on any phyc meds, there are days that I really think i need them but have never found anything that works for me without side affects.

I made only one new year resolution… to ask for “strength and courage” more often and sooner. I have a tendency to wait until i am in a desperate situation until I rely on the strength and courage needed to get through what i need to get through. Soooo it’s to ask for it sooner. Who I ask is up to me.

Other than that 2013 has already been about the realization of how good i am at crafts. I decided that I wasn’t going to get a new job, that I was going to sew and work on selling things I have made to make ends meet. I have been collecting photos of projects that I have done in the past together and while working on bringing things together I realize that I am pretty darned good at making shit! hehehe I wear a jacket every single day that I made. I am using t-shirt grocery bags that I made. I have done event planning, embossing, costuming for plays, made AMAZING digital scrapbook projects including post cards, albums and flyers. So i am banking on organizing myself enough to be able to make enough money monthly to make ends meet… we’ll see.

This year is a big year for Amelia… she is in her dream role in HAIRSPRAY. She gets to direct her favorite musical “A VERY POTTER MUSICAL” for the spring production. She graduates high school in June. She starts college in the fall. Lots of new adventures for her and ways to support her to make them all GREAT!

I think that’s enough of an update for now… happy 2013 everyone… hope there are good things happening out there!!

Amelia’s Resume

September 29th, 2011

April/May 2013 – Director – Newark Memorial High School – “A VERY POTTER MUSICAL”

March 2013 – Singing / Acting /Dancing – Ahzzz Theater Group – “HAIRSPRAY” – Penny

November 2012 – Singing / Acting / Dancing – Newark Memorial High School – “A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM” – Fairy Queen

October 2012 – Keyboard – Ahzzz Theater Group – Footloose

November 2011 – Singing / Acting / Dancing – Newark Memorial High School – “GREASE” – Rizzo

August 2011 – Singing / Acting / Dancing – Stage 1 Theater – “FAME” – Miss Sherman

June 2011 – Singing – Stage 1 – 50′s & 60′s Revue – “Downtown”

March 2011 – Singing – Newark Memorial High School – “Listen”

Dec 2010 – Acting – Irivington High School – “A Christmas Carol”

September 2010 – Singing / Dancing – Stage 1 Theater – “Cinderella”

July 2010 – Acting / Lead Female Singer – Stage 1 Theater – “13″ Patrice

May 2010 – Singing / Dancing / Acting – Newark Memorial High School – “Les Miserables”

April 2010 – Singing – Quinceanera - ”You are My Hero”

April 2010 – Singing – Hayward Idol – “You Raise Me Up” & “The Best Day”

Dec 2009 – Singing /Dancing – Newark Memorial High School – “Age of Aquarius”

Dec 2008 – Singing – Mariachi Juvenil de Hayward – “Volar, Volar”

July 2008 – Singing – Relay For Life – “National Anthem”

March 2006 – Singer – Wedding – “I Finally Found Someone”

A post in the Kaiser Support yahoo group that i belong to…

September 28th, 2011

Well hello everyone… just checking in…

Sooo some of you may remember me… some of you may not… this is Kary Loredo
Welch checking in. Today is my 3rd year anniversary of my surgery and I have
been thinking of many of you!! So I thought I’d check in.

For those of you that don’t know me… I started my journey at 400 pounds
exactly and had my surgery 8 months later at 327 pounds. Over the first six
months I continued to lose weight rapidly and lost a total of 175 pounds my
lowest weight being 225 pounds. Then I started drinking alcohol, that not only
spun my life out of control with my behavior I allowed it to derail my food
program and I began putting weight back on.

As an update… yesterday was 2 years that I’ve been sober! I’ve been going to
AA and when I say my name I say “I am an alcoholic/addict” because I am clear my
first addiction in my life was food. My current weight is 265 pounds (literally
going to the scale to weigh and type this). I am sober and feeling healthy
physically.

My struggle has been since surgery and clearly before that mentally. My self
image, my self control, my self will. Day to day life is a struggle and each
challenge seems to create another one but I just continue to do my best and put
one foot in front of the other.

I’ve been lucky physically, once i quit drinking and paying attention again I
leveled off with my weight gain. I wish I could say I was the poster child for
taking my vitamins and what I eat but I’m not. I make better choices than I used
to and am fully aware of what I put into my body but sometimes those choices
aren’t good ones.

When I was 400 pounds I used to have to set my alarm 30 minutes before I needed
to get up so that I could take 4 Aleve, ONLY THEN could I get out of bed because
my knees and back hurt so badly. I don’t have that trouble today. Although I am
3 years older than when I had my surgery I do not have the aches and pains that
I did at 400 pounds and I am grateful.

Sooo for those of you that have gone before me, those of you going through
things now and to those of you thinking about future surgery… I say… as
different as each one of us are in our personalities so is this journey for us
individually. Base your choices and decisions from your heart and put one foot
in front of the other… every day, every minute… just don’t stop moving
forward.

To my old friends… I do miss you… life is difficult and it’s hard to look
some of you in the eye… I am working three jobs and volunteering also so my
schedule is filled with work, stuff and sleep… in that order. Keep keepin’ on
and thank you for your amazing voices that still are in my head on those
difficult days!

Hugs, Kary

September 18, 2011 – It’s been a year since I posted…

September 18th, 2011

I absolutely hate change. Just over a year ago my husband changed my website to this format. Because i was comfortable with the old format I resisted the change. I did try to learn the few website format however gave up pretty quickly, which seems to be my MO. Sooo here i am just over a year later, determined to learn and make the changes i am comfortable with so that I can get back to using my website again.

So much has happened over this past year and the tendency is to make a list of shit to tell you everything… but I am not going to do that… i am going to move forward and the important stuff will come up in conversation as needed. Just know that i’ve been busy, very busy… so busy that on the first day of school a few weeks ago it took me till about 1 pm to sit down and say to myself, “What was i doing in June?”

 

Weight Loss – Intro/Summary

August 19th, 2010

Welcome to my blog! If you are new or you are someone that checks in often, I appreciate that you are here! I’d also like to say that for each person the experience of having bypass surgery is different. This is MY experience. Please always check with your own surgeon, nutritionist and listen to what they say is right for YOU.

 

 

I’ve said many times it is as simple as lining up 10 different people that have had the same surgery and ask them a simple question such as “Can you eat grapes?”  Because everyone is so completely different you get answers from “Heck no, i get sick right away” all the way to “Oh yeah, I freeze them and can eat them all day!” and every other answer in between.  So remember, if you are on the road to having this surgery your experience is going to be different than mine… take what you can use from my story and leave the rest that doesn’t work for you.

The new posts are at the top, please go to the bottom posting for the start of my journey and read your way up. Feel free to leave a comment or email me directly!  Thanks, Kary

 

Two Year Anniversary

August 19th, 2010

It’s been two years since my surgery and I was just asked “Are you still glad you did it?” My answer… ABSOLUTELY!!! I can move easier, am in less pain, feel better and am more healthy. When I weighed in i was 232 pounds… that’s 168 pounds that I’ve kept off!!! I’ve been able to ride a roller coaster that I couldn’t fit in before. This past week I was able to go to the thrift store and buy a beautiful dress that I felt very sexy in!! I can fit in the chairs in the Theater enjoying my daughter sing on stage. There are soooo many things that I can do now that I couldn’t do at 400 pounds!

Now that is all the good stuff… let me share the bad stuff. I am bummed that I stopped around the 230 mark and didn’t keep going. I started to drink alcohol only 4 months after my surgery and have learned that I cannot do that! The skin bugs me and there is no possible way we can afford for me to get anything ‘fixed’. And I am NOT the poster child for taking my vitamins but I am working on it!!

Well… that’s a quick update for now… I am working on celebrating the good times… dealing with the bad times and staying in the moment! Sometimes is one moment at a time but most of the time it’s one hour or even one day at a time… cause that’s what life is all about!! :)

Busy as a Bee!

May 19th, 2010

It’s been awhile since I’ve checked in… i do a lot of searching on the internet and THAT drives me nuts… that someone will start a blog, be all detailed then just abandons it with no updates. So here I am. Today I vow to set an alarm on my iPhone and be sure to update at least monthly!

What’s new… We had Amelia’s Quincenera in April! She turned 15 and we had a wonderful party for her! She looked like a princess and acted like a princess! She even sang… you can find her song on YouTube and there are more details on her page here.

Hmmm then we were busy with her play. She is in the Drama program at Newark Memorial High School and they did the production of Les Miserables… it was INCREDIBLE! And not just because she was in it… she was in the ensemble and although she went to all the rehersals and worked very hard and I am a very proud mom… the main singers did a wonderful job! I went to every single performance and the last two nights were standing room only!

Now we are ramping up for the Relay For Life in Hayward. We have a team “Croppin Out Cancer” and we are raising money for the American Cancer Society. It’s been a rough year with that terrible disease in my family. We lost my Uncle Jim in November quickly to it, then in January my step-father, Bill was diagnosed with lung cancer and has been going through treatments. Then recently another family member was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and we were optimistic until last week when we found out it is also in her liver. I HATE this crappy disease and will continue to fight any possible way I can to help raise money to find a cure. Please go to my “Relay For Life” page to learn more about this year’s event.

Weight Loss… hmmmm I’ve leveled off around 225-230 and have stuck at that. I am feeling GREAT! My hips hurt a bit but that is it, my knee pain is gone and I barely take Tylenol as needed.  Since November I’ve been volunteering once a week at the Fremont Kaiser visiting patients that are having bariatric surgery… that has been very helpful!

Alrighty that’s it for now… i just transfered to this new format for my website and need to learn more about it… check back in later this week to see the progress I’ve made on it!

Thanks, Kary